Kevin Hogan – Body Language

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Kevin Hogan – Body Language

Frightening Messages You Didn’t Mean to Send

Attention Body Language. istock.com/Moncherie You’re having what you consider to be a pretty important conversation over dinner.

What is the ambience?

Excellent. Perfect. White candles…just lit, white wine, a few lillies. You look good.

This evening everything is running smoothly. You couldn’t have asked for better. You were surprised at how well the new suit fit and how well it worked.

You’ve been talking for what seems like 5 minutes. You were on a roll and didn’t stop talking. You created a vivid picture, and it is obvious that she is there.

She’s sitting right by you and she goes to give you a kiss. Excellent. She smiles, then returns to her wine and is completely unaware that she’s fixing her hair.

Unconsciously, your behavior mirrors hers.

You don’t even think about it because EVERYTHING is going so perfectly tonight! You smooth your hair.

She knows she is primping. But, for some reason, she immediately feels nervous and uncomfortable.

You are trying to figure out how to phrase the BIG question. You just have to say it. You can’t go wrong with that!!

“I think we should go for it.”

You smile a deep heartfelt genuine smile.

Instantly, she thinks “NO WAY!”

It’s out of nowhere and she has no idea why she feels that way. She’s a little surprised, but she has come to trust her gut on all things.

She states the response we all say when we are fearful and know we probably shouldn’t be.

“Let me think about it.”

You’re dumbfounded.
90 Miles an Hour … to Instant Stop

Everything was going great, very well up until the second.

“Sorry?”

“I said, I’ll think about it.”

You are correct. She will think about what she didn’t say ten minutes ago. “I definitely want to do that!”

What’s the matter?

Your expression is almost enigmatic and perhaps a bit shocked.

She immediately notices your furrowed eyebrows, slightly open lips, and the eyelids drawing closer together as your chin pushes slightly to your right and your head tilts slightly back to your left.

Now she is overwhelmed by thoughts, all of which are negative.

He thinks I’m being stupid? I don’t understand why you give me that look. This is a total jerk.

“What’s wrong?”

Trigger Body Language. istock.com/Moncherie The tone is not terribly distrusting or hostile, but you’ve just experienced a temperature change of arctic proportions. You get out of it.

“Nothing at all.”

But it’s too late.

Ten minutes ago, she was sure that she would do it.

All things have changed.

“When would you like me to call you about it?”

You attempt to recuperate. You weren’t prepared for her chilly response. Now you have to try and capture that warm breeze again, but you intuitively and rightfully know that isn’t going to happen.

Everything moved perfectly. Perfect. Nothing could have gone wrong, but a sinkhole couldn’t have swallowed a car in Chicago faster than she sucked the energy out of your brain.

“Doesn’t matter. Sometime next week I guess,” The temperature continues to drop.

He’s really trying to pressure me. I don’t like it. I’m not sure I even like him. I’m not sure I liked him.

What has happened?

How can everything go well and then INSTANTLY turn without you ever having said a negative word…or no words at all??!!

The unseen body language signal…
Attention: You just sent a FEAR Signal!

What could have possibly gone wrong?

Relationship Body Language While you were delivering your message, you fiddled for 1 second with your hair “the closing statement.”

She has seen thousands of people throughout her life. She has no idea that her brain has connected people who she’s listening to and the triggers of the one person who lied to her when she smoothed her hair years ago. She doesn’t remember it. She wouldn’t remember it. It’s long buried from consciousness. The Anxiety Trigger, hidden from view, is still there and will continue to be for her entire life.

You did nothing wrong.

As you brushed your hair and asked her to do it, her brain exploded with adrenaline and cortisol. It changed her nonconscious like to conscious fear to conscious fear to politely backing away and to simply hate you.

1 second.

You couldn’t have known until today.

You now know.
Body Language Signals: Delivering the Message With Elegance And Safety

When you deliver a message that matters, you don’t touch anything. You don’t touch the wine glass. You don’t touch your glasses. You don’t touch the table. You don’t touch a fork. You don’t touch…anything. These are all common fears that people have to share with one another.

Every day, people lose opportunities in every aspect of their lives by switching. “yes” To “no” Through internal triggers

You just tripped on her “Fear Switch.”

You wouldn’t have meant for it to happen in a million years. Obviously. Her gut, however, directs her mind. In this instance, her brain is directing it. This means you are listening. “no.”

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She’ll go home or visit a friend and explain what happened. She will tell her friend she was rude and unacceptable.

When asked for specifics, she won’t be able to give even one.

“I don’t know, I just got a bad feeling about him. He’s a bit of a jerk.”

“I thought you wanted to go for it with this guy?”

“I did but he blew it. I saw who he really is.”

In one second, the girl switched from experiencing deity to Dante at the Inferno.

People often ask me this question. “what are the most important body language signals?”

Answer?

“It’s the one that triggers a cortisol release in the brain. It’s the one that kicks in the fear and anxiety that you couldn’t have known without having watched a video of the person’s life.”

If you’re going to “gesture” Communicating the big idea should be clear, specific, and clearly illustrated.

What’s that mean?

Body Language Fear Triggers

Presentation Skills. isockphoto/izusek Fear triggers that are most often experienced include common fiddling and gestures. A person will hear 100 positive and 20 negative messages over the course of a year. If the communicator makes a specific gesture (touching the nose, straightening the hair, touching your lips, touching the lips or rubbing the ears), then the negatives outnumber the 100 positives. 100 positives are like 100 goldfish amongst 20 Great White Shark experiences.

Recognizing nonverbal cues is crucial. It can make a big difference.

But the reality is that being aware of YOUR RESPONSE & BEHAVIORS to their nonverbal cues which they then observe, are really where problems begin. This is where most problems begin. “yes” To become “no.”

These are common body language signals that could cause you to trip up
Learn Body Language: Break it Down

You can build rapport by mimicking their behavior. It can help create a simple bond. However, it can backfire. This doesn’t happen because someone becomes aware of your mirroring them. It might only happen once in a life time.

When they experience a negative reaction, usually nonconsciously, to a gesture or cue that you have given them, it is the beginning of disaster. You didn’t know it happened. You didn’t think anything. You didn’t mean anything. You didn’t consciously do anything. You just did what a normal person would do, and it turned out to be one of those.

It goes even further.
Body Language Strategy: Acute Awareness

As you observe people’s nonverbal communication, you must be present and IN the present conscious moment. They aren’t. You could ask them. “Are you here?” They will, of course, emerge from nonconsciousness or say “yes.”

The truth is, they are rarely here. You must be present and aware of their behaviors because if you like this person, you’ll naturally yawn when they yawn. This could be a wonderful thing. It is possible to bet on it most of the time.

But…don’t kid yourself into thinking that one person catching another person’s yawn IS a liking signal. It could be. It MAY BE.

Bodies don’t read popular self-Literature on body language.

They react to every stimulus. People rarely respond positively.

They can. It happens. It’s not all that common. For every 100 negative “reactions”There are probably 5 positive reactions.

How are you supposed to be able to read all body language cues displayed by people while communicating in a negative manner with the person you’re talking to?

Obviously you can’t, but you and I can make some broad generalizations.
Coding Body LanguageAvoid Negative Gestures

Negative Body Language Signals. Itock.com/perkmeup One can see that the majority of times someone is pointed at in their lives, the emotions they displayed in the most severe and negative moments were actually negative.

It is easy to predict that when you see someone with an angry expression on his face, it is likely they are not feeling anything positive.

(This is a challenge for me. I tend to scowl when I’m intensely focused. My look of determination looks like a lot of people’s “I want to kill you right now,” look.)

Most people feel negatively when their volume is raised. You can be certain that passion is perceived as antagonizing by many people. This holds true regardless of what the content is.
Reading Body Language: Brains are trigger dependent

They don’t think. They aren’t thinking right now. They aren’t thinking yet.

They only experience triggers. They certainly do absorb information, but the body’s job is to keep you away from fear. That is the primary goal.

After your death is confirmed, the body will seek comfort, food, and sex.

The key point here is to recognize that you can be emotionally intelligent enough to interpret their reactions to you…and they almost certainly won’t be.

This does not mean you are exempt. “complete control.” On the contrary, you haven’t seen a complete video of every moment of that person’s life. They may not know the 100 most negative cues and gestures that they use.

It is impossible to know which cues or gestures will actually trigger a positive reaction.

Positive feelings can be very beneficial.

Let me share with you a few of these positive triggers.

Body Language: Triggering positive feelings …
Body Language Strategie: Make Their Fears into Excitement

Positive Body Language. istock.com/lisegagneWhen you and I hang out with someone “new”Our conscious mind is more alert than normal. You can tell if someone is aware 10% of the time that they are conversing with you. This will likely show them to be conscious 30% of the time. It is important to have a higher level of awareness.

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When your heart beats quicker, you feel it. “new people” These are available.

“Excitement” It is often referred to as “fear” “fear” Every now and again, it is felt as “excitement” Because they are almost the same thing.

The difference is an interpretation of the conscious body that briefly checks on the nonconscious mind experience.

How can you make people consciously experience their life? “fear” As “excitement?”

It is important to get it caught early. There is only one second.

“Cool?!”

“Exciting?!”

“Nice?!”

“Wow!”

Select a word out of an ordinary list. The word must be quickly articulated and the accent on the last letter or sound must be heard with a rising pitch.

With “new people,” We are more present with older people than we are with them. Older people tend to be complacent and follow old patterns of behavior. This causes us to instantly fall back to nonconsciousness.

This is simply a way to return to nonconsciousness. It means to go back to the familiar environment and to what was there. Point? Point? The brain responds to the mind being distracted or at rest.

Bodies don’t like to be in consciousness because being conscious requires the experience of STRESS.

Body Language Predictably Positive Signals

Okay, what about another positive body language trigger?

Be aware that each person is unique. However, there are positive cues.

This is what you should be thinking about in every conversation.

Your face should be closer to the ground than your partner’s. This will increase your chances of feeling control, comfort, and maybe even feelings of love, connection, and your ability to feel connected.

Why?

Positive Body Language. Itock.com/lovleah In your earliest years, your Mom and Dad likely looked down at you when you spoke to them. If you had a crummy Mom or Dad, this probably didn’t happen, but most people have generally positive experiences with adults when their face is at their level or lower.

I don’t need to hang out with enough 5-They like me more than year-olds. I can’t shake them.

Why? Because I get right down to it. “their level” Live in their world. Adults don’t do this, which is why kids talk to a lot of thighs when they are little. Aside from their big stomach, they only can see a chin, nose, and hair if they are near enough to an adult. The upsides of thighs are not for children. Thighs are not a good place to express love, connection, and empathy.

The few who get down to the child’s level? They are often liked.

Adults are the same.

If you can bring your eyes to a plane that is closer to the ground than theirs, you’ll PROBABLY trigger positive feelings.

Probably.

Take a look at these:

It is very difficult to do good when one person rules over another. That factor is the most common negative trigger. The majority of negative triggers are non-existent.-Negative triggers include people being below their eye level.

If you’re 6’ 5” and she is 5’ 6” you have your work cut out for you.

In cases like this, physical distance from the other person can be slightly increased so that you don’t appear to be an adult to their child, even if they are 40.

Next week, we’ll talk about more cues and clues to nonverbal experience both from your point of view and theirs so you can optimize each interaction and cause as many positive feelings as possible while bringing out fewer negative reactions.

Are These Yours? Body Language Mistakes?

Research shows that you can make a first impression in less than 4 seconds. This is used to gauge the quality of your future communication with those you meet.

Within four seconds, people will begin to make judgements about you.

This person is not someone I would buy from.
This person is someone I like.
This person is kind to me (or not).
This person is intelligent to me.

You can’t make a good first impression through your words alone. Nonverbal communication can have as much as 60% to 75% of the impact on a communication. Nonverbal communication, despite being the most important aspect of communication, is also one of the most misunderstood or misinterpreted.

Every action – or even the smallest micro-action – communicates subconsciously to others, so people could like (or not like) you through your gestures… without even knowing exactly why.

You could be making the most wonderful compliments or praise to people, but it’s difficult to gain their trust or approval if your words contradict your nonverbals.

These body language photos will help you understand some of nonverbal communication. This girl is flirting. “But her arms are crossed, that’s defensive,” Others might disagree. They’re wrong. They are wrong. She tilts her head to the left, tries hard not to smile too much, but she is still looking straight at you. She loves you.

Flirting and sexual body language is something you can quickly spot in a woman’s nonverbal communication in both business and personal contexts.

If you are able to read the signs correctly, it is easy to identify the liar in business or personal situations. I’ll show you this later.

Kevin Hogan Nonverbal Communication ExpertIf you are interested in learning the nonverbal secrets to love, romance, and closing the deal, we welcome you! The analysis I’m going to give you as part of this preview includes both “liking” judgements. It is difficult to examine human behavior in a snapshot in time.

This guy is a great example of what you can see. By looking at him, that smirk should mean he’s being perceived poorly and he’s fighting for his life. Look at the look on the first girl’s shoulder. Women inspect over their shoulders with curiosity…until that split second where liking or not occurs. These two will connect…

This preview will help you to notice a few subtle cues you can start to pick up.

You will discover a lot about nonverbal communication if you pay attention.

What if you could learn to be a master?

Once “armed” with the insights you’re going to learn shortly, you have an overpowering edge in life. If I hadn’t learned nonverbal communication, I wouldn’t have been able to achieve what I have. It’s certainly a key component to the success I’ve experienced.

People often refer to my ability recognize hesitations, likes, deceptions, honesty and deceit. This is something that I have learned to teach others. If I see a video of someone, today, and one of them before a terrible event (a criminal offense), I can often tell with considerable accuracy whether that person is innocent or guilty. I’ll show you how.

I’m also able to send covert messages (through movements and gestures) that generate liking from other people that almost no one knows how to do. I’ll show you how to do this as well.

You now have the chance to uncover my deepest secrets to help you be immensely successful in your life.

These are the things I will tell you. “accomplishments,” only to share with you that I’ve taught thousands of others and I will show you how to use this skill set to achieve great results in life.

I feel fortunate that I’ve gained the trust and respect of the most reputable people and media outlets in the world.

And now, you can leverage that knowledge and years of experience to have the skills of a specialist in nonverbal communication… in almost no time flat!

I’ve been educated to know what really works. My 20-years of scientific research, practice, and studies have been a culmination of my own personal experience.

You can count on me for the best steps to help you shave years off your learning curve and uncover hidden messages like an expert.-By-Step training to nonverbal mastery
The Complete Body Language Study at Home
Kevin Hogan’s Body Language CD/DVD program

If you want to get the same training as my seminar attendees at the comfort and privacy of your own home – at a tiny fraction of they are paying- then you’ll be quite pleased with the Complete Body Language Online and CD/DVD Home Study Course

This program is designed to help you understand nonverbal communication and to make it more efficient and accurate. In most cases, you can read the REAL signs of liking, disliking, honesty or deception… in less than 10 seconds, with significant accuracy.

It’s designed for the benefit of both business and personal relationships. Why? Because the nonconscious mind, which directs almost all nonverbal communication, doesn’t know if you are at the office or in the kitchen. It responds.

I made the scientific aspects of nonverbal communication foolproof by creating a system that works for anyone.-Year olds can understand. In this program, I’ll walk you step-By-You will be guided through each step. I’ll teach you all the key secrets of nonverbal communication to skyrocket your sales, get your dream date, enjoy satisfying relationships, and be successful in your daily interactions with people.

I’ll reveal to you how to determine whether someone likes you or not. I’ll show you how to read with precision whether they are leaning towards a “yes” Or, “no.” As with any skill, it takes some time to master.

The reward? Enormous. The ability to control all situations.

In this course, we’ll analyze over 100 candid photos of celebrity couples in different settings. From the tilt of the head to where the the feet are pointed, you’ll know exactly what they’re thinking or feeling.

Celebrity photos are the best way to learn, as they are hard to read. They play roles that appeal and are always interesting to the public. “on”). But just like what you have already learned to see, the little cues tell quite a story – the story that the nonconscious is revealing, but the conscious mind is not.

Recently, it was reported that 46 of 48 times I was correct in interpreting the nonverbal communication of Hollywood couples as to whether they would end up splitting within the next two-years. This feat has never been achieved. They are very difficult people. “act out” To seek public approval.