Margalis Fjelstad – Stop Emotionally Manipulative Relationships

The persecutor/victim/rescuer connection
TREATMENT ISSUES WHILE WORKING WITH CARETAKERS
Caretakers have a lot to gain

Margalis Fjelstad – Stop Emotionally Manipulative Relationships

Assist clients in separating themselves emotionally manipulative relationships
Transfer clients from another-Focused on your own success-Focused
Stop caretakers’ self-Sabotage
Take on the challenge-Learn to overcome negative behaviors and reduce anxiety.
Borderlines and narcissists can cause emotional havoc within families but they seldom come to therapy or stay in therapy long enough to complete the necessary work. Clients who seek to find answers to their dysfunction, confusion, and hurt come in therapy seeking emotional caretakers. They are the ones who are manipulated, controlled and attacked by the borderline or narcissist.
Emotional caretakers are often described by self.-sacrificing, self-Enabling, doormats and virtuous altruists to be defeated. They are very vulnerable to being dragged into caring for the needs borderline or paranoid because of their loyalty and endurance, need to please and intense guilt as well as their ability to accept all responsibility and to be plied.
You can motivate clients who feel helpless, defeated and demoralized. Help Caretakers move beyond depression and denial to healthy limits setting and self-care-care. Encourage them to challenge themselves-They will learn how to overcome their negative behaviors and reduce anxiety. These clients will learn techniques to help them move forward and boost their self-esteem.-Confidence and self-esteem
OUTLINE
EMOTIONAL CARETAKERS
Who are the Emotional Caregivers?
15% of therapy clients are taken care of by caregivers
Are caretakers raised or born?
There are strengths and there are weaknesses
Symbiotic relationship with borderline or narcissist
Five Types Of Distortions Caretakers Use
Emotional
Thought
Behavioral
A sense of self
Relationships
Five Caretaking Intensity Levels Relationships Borderline or Narcissist
Self-Beating
Pathological Altruism
Protesting the colluders
Self-Protectors
Take-offs
The Drama Triangle of the Caretaker/Narcissist/Borderline Relationship
Why and how caretakers are drawn to self-You can’t win with your partner
The persecutor/victim/rescuer connection
TREATMENT ISSUES WHILE WORKING WITH CARETAKERS
Why caretakers can benefit from therapy and narcissists and borderlines typically don’t
Ten ways to take care of yourself as a caregiver-Sabotage
These seven rules are not good for relationships:

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Exterior locus control issues: Caretaker concerns
Passivity, fear and guilt are the three most common causes of confusion.
These can be a sabotage to therapy and relationships
TREATMENT STRATEGIES
CBT can be used to address the core distortions in caretakers
Why client-centered therapy doesn’t work as well
Dispute the caretaker’s dysfunctional relationship rules
Caretakers should be encouraged to engage in assertive interactions instead of manipulative interactions
Repairing client’s sense of self
Challenge your negative self-Image thoughts
Teach the concept independent SELF
Get a clear understanding of “I”
Create an inner locus for control
Challenge caretaker’s pathological shame and guilt
Teaching empowered communication techniques
Help clients move from the Drama Triangle to become the Caring Triangle
Accepting SELF, assertiveness, and conscious choice-Responsibility
Group therapy can be used to help clients move forward faster.
OBJECTIVES
How to help clients free themselves from manipulative relationships.
How to transfer clients from another country-Focus on yourself-focused.
Recognize and eliminate the seven dysfunctional rules that caretakers use to control relationships.
Recognize the causes behind caretaker behavior.
Show how to coach clients out the drama triangle of enmeshment and narcissism with a borderline person or a narcissist.
Examine various methods to stop caretaker’s self-Sabotage
Outline the steps to neutralizing the emotional caretaker’s obsession with the borderline or narcissist.
Communicate with clients how to use awareness and attention to stop being controlled.
Talk about the steps needed to make real changes in families with borderline or narcissists.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Margalis FjelstadFor the past 30 year, Dr. LMFT has maintained a private clinical practice. She is a specialist in training therapists, lawyers, case workers and other professionals in the dynamics of relationships with borderline or narcissists.
She has completed over 150 hours training in personality disorders. She focuses on helping clients who are in a relationship that is borderline or narcissistic. These caretaker clients have received over 10,000 hours counseling. She has also led more than 1500 hours in group therapy and 140 training workshops. She is a college professor at California State University Sacramento and Regis University Colorado. She has trained thousands of students in best counseling techniques and therapeutic techniques, and she also taught 13,000 hours of graduate courses.
Her book and the accompanying workbook are available. Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist: How To End the Drama and Get On With Your Life! She shares her extensive knowledge of personality disorders and outlines the steps to take in order to stop caregivers from participating in the drama. Margalis He is able take clinical concepts and make them tangible in an organized, useful way. She is able to understand the dysfunctional dynamics of the borderline or narcissist, and can provide clear ways for clients who are caretaker clients to evade these manipulations and move on.