Tom Torero – Conversation Ninja

Positive vibes: No moaning, politics, or religion. Your positivity should inspire the other person’s desire to spend more time with you

Tom Torero – Conversation Ninja

Recently I’ve been listening to some of Tom’s podcasts (really helpful content overall) and one of them is called “Conversation Ninja”In this video, he explains how you can have a lively conversation. It is very useful for daygame investing, stacking vibing, and investment. The podcast contains so many valuable tips and information that I felt the need for a blog post.

So here’s my summary:

– Fundamentals:

• Hold the frame (by leading conversation).
• Positive vibes: No moaning, politics, or religion. Your positivity should inspire the other person’s desire to spend more time with you
• eye-Contact
• Low, slow, and clear voice (avoid filler sounds or inflections).
• Be confident in your speech and take responsibility for what you say
• Good body language, no leaning-in)

– Conversation fundamentals

• Attraction always wins over rapport

In the beginning, rather than building rapport, break it using spikes

Two easy methods of spiking include teasing or challenging

Even after the hook-Point is that if you’re in a relationship, you can spice it up if it becomes boring

• Avoid interview-Style and boring questions at every cost

Use statements instead.-Questions that are tagged at or near the end of the article (“you look like… Am I right? Do you…?”) or just observations from your life for the other person to reply to (“today, I saw…”)

Listen to her answer. Then, add another statement to keep the conversation going (e.g. She says that she studied engineering. You can answer. “Ah, one of my friends studies engineering. And he never leaves the office… ” End it with a mini-If you are unsure, ask (“…are you also one of these workaholics? Do you never have fun? You have this really serious look to you etc.”)

Useful phrases “launch” your statements/assumptions: “When I think of… I think of… ; My friend is a/ my friend went to.. and he said…”. Ask her to comment on 3 things in your statement. 2 are normal and 1 is a bit challenging.

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• The best topic to discuss with girls is You yourself Ask her to talk about her, and then let her invest.

You can shine the spotlight back on her as often and as often as you like (e.g. she asks where you’re from, you tell her and than ask her what she knows about your country)

Ask her her opinion on something you ask.

• Girl-friendly topics are all light (hopes&dreams, drama, travel, adventure, risk)
• Closed questions are those that can only be answered with yes/no, or short answers. Open questions are those that require a more emotional answer.

Take this example: How did it affect your feelings? How was it? Do you have any other knowledge? Why did you do…?

If your mind is blank, stick to three simple areas: the past (“What was it like growing up in…?”The present (“What’s the story with you coming/going to…?”), the future (“What are your big plans for the future?”)

– Tricks to get her to invest in the conversation

• Parroting

You just repeat or paraphrase what she has said before (e.g. She says “I came here to study dance.” You say “Ah ok, so you came here to study dance yeah”Look at her expectantly as she continues to carry on.

sceptical parroting: same as parroting but with a questioning/challenging tone (qualification)

• Qualification

Part of the challenge of attraction

e.g. “why did you choose dancing/London/…?”, “why are you single? You’re fun, pretty, a little bit crazy, but I like you. Why are you single? Do you murder all your boyfriends?”, “what do you mean by that?”, “I don’t believe you.” Or just “why?”

• Stealth questions

Statements that suggest a question

e.g. “I don’t know about you/ how you see it, but when I think of …, I think of…”

• The vacuum

After the girl finishes her statement, you can look at her with anticipation and then just shut up.

using the silence to get her to invest, implying that you’re confident enough in yourself to wait for the other person to respond (qualification)

Here’s what you can expect in the new book Tom Torero – Conversation Ninja